PA para sa 1 taong paghihirap, pakikibaka at pagkakawang gawa

It's the time of the year again when you see your short comings, frustrations and waisted efforts in paper. When every mistake you have done in the whole year of your working existence is measured on where you failed, what you have not done and performance measures you have only seen the day it is given to you.

But what's new? Ika nga, sa dami ng beses na nagkaroon ng ganito, you seem to get used to it. The how's and why's don't seem to bother you anymore. The furstrations and disbelief seem to fade like fog in the early morning. Sanayan na lang di ba ternderloins and porkloins. What can we do, we are victims of the system that a few can only understand and a handful manuever.

It's the time of the year again when you see all your triumphs and achievements in paper. But this time it only stays there. How it turn out on your payslip or on your next day at work will still and remain a mystery. Sabi nga ni Mao, sa gyera tayo ang magkasama, pero bakit pagdating nga ganitong panahon e parang hindi mo alam kung ano mga nagawa ko.

Pero at the end of the day, you still need to work, not for the company but for your family, for your needs. Your helping the company grow but is it helping you grow? Bottomline, just gotta work. . .just gotta work- tipaks. . .

At the strings end

Just finished lunch with the PBB team. As usual, another boring lunch. Only adding to the stress of work and all the disappointments attached to it. As we head back to our work dungeon, Ka Beza strung a few lines that made us think, hehehe. . .it fairly sound right but we got the tune anyhow, peace! The song goes. . .

" I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by my childish fears. . .it's immortal as Madz pointed out, yeah immortal nga, theme song? sabi ko, hahaha. . .the we continued. . .and if you have to leave, cause your presensestill lingers here, and it won't leave me alone. . "

It made me think for a while, how do you push on when your drive have already died down? How do you go on if year in year out the same old issues, problems and hindrances appears. As if nothing is being resolved, only the persons involved changed, maybe some of the players change, but the same issues are still there. How do you press on? How do you move on when you already have given your mind, your body even and maybe your soul for them to realize and hope see what is needed to be done and what you are asking for? How?

How? Push a little harder, i say. . .work more, strive more. . .better yourself. And after you think you have done what you can, given what you can give, worked your ass off, dropped the last drop of effort you can, then maybe it's time to move on. You've done your part, given your best shot. Sometimes your efforts wont be seen, they might not notice what you have done. But the important thing is, you've tried. Me? I'm at the end of my string. Already fed up and tired. Hope this Friday's meeting will give fruit to all of this shit. Let's see. . .maybe just maybe. . .- tipaks. . .